Again, like Tsukuru’s other friends, Haida leaves without explanation. Still unable to determine if the whole thing was a dream or reality, Tsukuru begins to feel tension toward Haida, which culminates with Haida abruptly leaving Tokyo to return to his home in Akita.

As the dream ends, Tsukuru awakens as he is having an orgasm and discovers that Haida is there with him. Disoriented, Tsukuru thinks he is still asleep, and when he falls back into a deeper sleep, he has a graphic sexual dream about two of his female friends, Shiro and Kuro. One night, Tsukuru awakes to find Haida in his room. In college, Tsukuru becomes friends with a young man named Haida, drawn to Haida’s intellectual curiosity and his passion for life. When he meets a woman named Sara and tells her the story of his friend group, she urges him to confront them and find out why they did what they did. However, he is generally unable to form lasting relationships, especially with women. Years later, 36-year-old Tsukuru is a respected member of society who works as a train station engineer. Though he finally leaves behind his obsession with dying, Tsukuru cannot get over the pain that his rejection from the friend group has caused him. The dream stirred an intense jealousy in Tsukuru, which was a departure from his normal introverted and dispassionate temperament. Tsukuru finally emerges from his depression, as a result of a particularly intense dream about an unnamed woman.

This period follows Tsukuru’s unforeseen and sudden abandonment by his high school friend group: Four friends inexplicably cut Tsukuru out of their lives, with no explanation for their behavior. He struggles to find meaning in life, and his isolation leads him to an obsession with dying. Twenty-year-old Tsukuru has a very trying six months. Additionally, the novel examines mental health issues surrounding trauma, including eating disorders, depression, and emotional distress.

The edition for this guide is the Kindle edition published in 2014.Ĭontent Warning: The novel portrays graphic sexual imagery, and rape is discussed explicitly.

The colorless life of tsukuru tazaki